| Justice come to pass |
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| 10:12am 01/08/2005 |
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mood: determined music: Dope - Thanks for Nothing
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Your Day of Judgement Come
Once I was your friend,
I was your mentor,
I was your everything,
Now you all just sit, point and laugh,
Wait till you see the man I've become,
You'll want to take it all back and Now I'm
the one laughing,
Your childish shit doesn't mean a thing to me,
You I gave my world and now you think you own it,
I taught you everything I knew so you turned away the chance,
My dreams I had to share,
Took it all down to my last,
Time has come to past,
Help me I'll help you two and more,
Granted you're now such a whore,
Torn by lies and deciet,
Created hate,
Feeding my fear,
Never will I cry another tear,
What to think now you racist queer,
So much to say,
So much anger to release,
Even when you tried to choke me,
Oh what a pleasant little tease,
Man wigger please,
All my life I've been beat,
Tossed around up and down,
Made me move out of this shitty town,
It took me till now to see within,
The line between our friendship was that thin,
IT'S OVER!!!!
IT'S TIME, I'M THROUGH, I'M DONE WITH ALL OF YOU!
-PVDP |
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| you are the company that you keep. |
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| 02:14pm 22/05/2005 |
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mood:  disappointed music: Godhead- 2000
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Isn't it funny how that saying goes along with all of the drama these days? If I tell you something from experience [26 yrs of it] wouldn't you think that I may know what I am talking about when I clue you in on information about these small-time, small-town people who are trying to pay big-time, big-city games. |
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| The message that I sent to my baby's mother. |
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| 09:18am 20/05/2005 |
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Hmmm, walking out of my bathroom from taking a shower and this is what I see, first thing in the morning...
[from Nicola]
"I don't want to talk about it, I just want to sit and cry in front of you..."
The tears of pain that I keep sheding have a name attached to them.. Shawn.
A year ago almost, he loved me. A week ago he said the same thing.
A year ago I wanted a boyfriend, a future. A week ago I just wanted a friend, trust, and respect. And Madison to have her father.
A year ago he listened to others lie about what I said, and it cost us everything. But it cause him more with his child.
A week ago he listened to others lie about what I said, and blocked me from his life... but that just keeps him from his child. The child he said he always wanted.
I admitt I love him still. But I am not intrested in being with him right now. I don't trust myself to be in a relationship...so why the hell would I try to screw up his... I just don't like him lieing to me. Oh he loves me, he wants his family, his wife... then went home and told he he loved her.
So who is he lying to?
I told him being with me was not necissary to see his daughter... that I just wanted the truth ...
And he played me like a god damn fool.
And the biggest victem....Madison.
Then Amber...
Then Shawn himself.
Because I wont let him control my life. I am mistress of my own destiny. And I am an adult.
Madison will see that I tried to make her daddy a part of her life. He just had things he thought were more important... sex, money, sex, drungs, money... friends...
Well She is the most important thing in my life. And I am a good mother. She is healthy, well adjusted for her age, thriving developmentally in a way that only children who feel loved and secure thrive.
And I won't tell her daddy doesnt want her, or love her. I will tell her that daddy is a sick man... that he gave into his parinoid delusions being a schizophrenic. That Daddy needs medical help. And maybe someday he will get it.
[from me]
First off; I'm not taking medications for my mental illness [Schizophrenia]as per the doctors' orders and she has told me on many occations that I am her biggest success story ever.
Secondly; I love Madison with all of my heart, she means the world to me and my upcoming ventures will prove very useful to both her and I as well as you. My commitments as of now are to Madison and myself. She will have everything that she will ever need and one day this will be quite obvious when she looks the court in the eyes and says "I want to live with my father, my dad and none of these lies that my mother tells me will ever bare judgement upon that fact."
Thirdly; I've quit every drug I used to taking, because frankly, people that say these type of things are all of the imaginative concepts that I need and truthfully no drug has ever been this good.
Lastly; my sexual experiences are/should be of no importance to you and my child.
By the way the message which I replied to was hidden from "ME" but not my girlfriend "Amber", tell me who's nuts? |
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| Thought that "Fraggle's Journal" was something people. |
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| 10:54am 17/05/2005 |
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mood:  calm
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Ok here's the answer to all of your questions about everything and everyone!!!!!!!!!!
From here on in, this journal will be the resource to all of your doubts and worries. It was suppose to be "Prince_Valik's" but like all of the other people getting into my business, everyone else's personal lives, so I decided to join the "fade" and list everyone else's just as they are doing to me. Now you'll all see why want out of this fucking city and possibly the entire crazy dramatic world.
Where shall I start...
All of my life people have taken total advantage of me in every way shape, form and that's all OVER. IT'S MY TURN.
Last year was the beginning of a new life, so I thought, boyandgirls, I was wrong and it took a year "THE YEAR" to find that out. I found out the problems that circled my environment and who was responsible for starting them. Now I'm going to type about everyone's dirty little secrets, if you don't want to cry or get upset about your personal bullshit, DON'T READ THIS JOURNAL ANYMORE!
-dEMON |
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| Should the master teach his lesson, only to be taught by his student? |
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| 05:48am 25/03/2005 |
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mood:  thoughtful music: Early Morning Silence as my fingers tip upon these keys
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These past few months I've been debating on wheither or not I should write yet another book. If I were to write this "said" book, it would contain things of a nature of which not many people would be able to comprehend. I see myself as a "Seeker of Truth." However; once I find that which I have deemed worthy of the title "fact" I wish to share my knowledge to other seekers.
I guess the question that I ask you as my readers and myself as my life's illustrator is; "Should, I take the time out of reality and begin to write this book, or shall I keep on being a part of this cycle we call "existance"? |
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| I'm a Daddy, Yay!!! |
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| 02:11pm 24/03/2005 |
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Well, my ex-girlfriend Nicola had my first and only child on Tuesday the 22nd @ 318am 7lbs. 1oz 19inches. My baby girl's name is Madison Paige Ely... I'm so excited!!! I'm a daddy now finally after 26 years and many attempts. |
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| deeper down the rabbit hole... |
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| 02:17pm 04/02/2005 |
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mood:  aggravated music: Apoptygma Berserk - Coma White
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Would you look at this shit...hahaha... all of the drama in my life is almost totally erased from existance, in my life anyways... Come across too many bad apples in this lifetime for any of this to make any sense, pretty soon... I'm just going to take aim and blow my problems clean-away.
I used to think... Hey, I'll give away my heart for I think I see someone worthy of it, now I'm not so sure if such a person even exists on this entire fucking planet and that is one thing that really erks me the most.
There's been too many BS stories going around this area, about me, what I do and who I decide to do those meaningless things with and now I'm doing in once again. What you might ask?
Here it is the TRUTH, once again, just as I did before to get that crazy psycho-exgf LECIA off my back about bullshit stories that she was posting.
All of the rumors will be cleared within the comments section of this post. |
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| reflecting back to what is real... |
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| 02:34pm 18/12/2004 |
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mood: Poetic music: Gravity Kills - Drown
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There was a time when I believed that all things made absolutely no sense at all but now I'm quite sure that was just a misunderstanding of the view which I saw from back then and now I am happy to know the truth to this riddle-filled plane of existance.
"I take apart what isn't broken, everything that is unspoken"
So when does this life of lies ever end and turn into the truth which has been hid from us for so long? Many people see the world through blindfolded eyes. Each of them wandering around in search of a future to come and not even seeing the life which is before them at present. I see this as the number one problem today. Humans are so coy and that's how they become the toy. Planting their seed and not even following up to feed. |
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| attention!!! |
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| 05:01am 17/12/2004 |
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mood: creative yet tired music: My TV: watching the movie Phonebooth
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I'll be updating the entire design of my website and livejournal. Be prepared ;) |
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| Time ≈ Chaos |
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| 07:05pm 20/08/2004 |
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mood: thoughtful music: Sound of my server's Fan
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I swear I think up some of the most interesting topics after staying awake for almost three days straight, for instance...
Have you ever thought of what makes the "Human" race so "weak?" The idea of this weakness came to me within a matter of minutes post working on a new themeSet for my "Bitch" aka "My Sony Viao."
Time is the answer to that which makes the human race the weakest of all living creatures. "What?" you might ask makes "Time" the danger to our existance. That's simple; the existance of "time" is not the threat, more so the "preception" of it.
I would like you to take the "time" to follow me down this path which I am rambling on about in this revelation...
Why do we set a "limit" on anything in this world? Over time the human race has been running from "what?" Imagine a world without the "preception" of time...
No rush hour, No hectic crazy people running around; pushing others out of their way so that they can get somewhere on "time." Most importantly...you wouldn't care what "time" it was, you could sleep in until whenever you felt like getting your lazy ass out of bed....lol
Sorry friends; I guess my 190 IQ is getting the best of me.... |
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| life, yep...and a very interesting one if that. |
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| 02:09am 25/07/2004 |
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mood:  depressed music: My bedroom fan in the window.
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Let's see where on Earth shall I begin, hmmm... Well, first off I am still seeing a psychologist at Mental Health Services and Dr. V, really believes in me, she claims that I am one of the best success stories going around in the entire office building. I took myself off my medications a few months ago, because I am determined to work my problems out on my own.
Have any of you seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind" or read the book? If so, you would understand the amount of stress I am constantly dealing with in my life. Not knowing what I've done and who I've done the acts with/to. Waking up wondering where I am and how I got there. Each day holds another secret and sometimes another obsticle for me to go through in order for me to become more stable in reality. |
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| oh what a day... |
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| 03:58pm 08/06/2004 |
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first I am feeding from a new friend, then one of my close friends die...he was one the closest people to me when I live at SafeHaven through Mental Health Services, he was only fifty...he had everything in his life changed around, great man and I will miss him dearly...
Dennis, I dedicate all of my accomplishments to you...I know that you are and will always be in good hands....welcome home man...see you sometime in the future...hugz
On the other hand, I believe that my friend Nicole got the wrong impression last night, while "N" was allow me to feed from her, it was nothing *sexual* just one vampir feeding from another, actually I passed out to find that Nicole had left my house. Please, Nicole do be pissed at me.... |
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| long time no type... |
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| 01:43am 13/05/2004 |
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LIFE:
well, well, well, look what I've got here.... I live in a world of fantasy, seems that nothing is and perhaps may never be real to me and I often ask myself "Why, have I been led astray by these deceptions and illusions?" I've come to my latest conclusion and it is that; there must be some amazing reward waiting for me at the end.
WEB:
The site creation is in phase-three; meaning, that it is still undergoing heavy construction. "The Book" will be accessable to all of those who want to take a gander. The contents was scanned, so please bare with me on the pression of the text. |
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| this world of chaos shall take me over.... |
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| 02:04pm 02/05/2004 |
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mood:  drained music: Funker Vogt - We Came to Kill
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Well, after viewing an annoying amount of drama and learning to deal with it all quite well I say, I'm proud to announce that I've almost completed the website, although already I'm bored with my theme. Oh well, I guess that's just part of being insane...lol
Anyways; life.....yep...interesting I must say though....yep.
Oh, by the way doesn't anyone ever realize that when you change your pictures on a profile, that site views it as you have "edited" your profile?
Geez; I'll talk with you all later... |
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| sexual perversion....what? |
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| 04:13am 29/04/2004 |
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"Have you been a naughty elf? This leatherclad orc wants to punish you with spankings!"
*rolls dice*
What's your sexual perversion?
Created by ptocheia
Oh, Mary....you better not give up on me...I mean it, grrrr...hang in there things will turnout for the best, trust me ;)hugz, kotfh |
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| Pacti de Strigoi Morti - Under-construction |
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| 12:59pm 26/04/2004 |
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mood:  stressed music: Ramstein - M?ter
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Well, it's been three weeks, two day and four hours since I moved the site from "Tripod" to "Aplus.net" and I finally proud to say that sometime today the "URL" for the site will be up and ready to go. I've been working on it day/night and I hope that you all enjoy the new features of the site.
On a personal note; I doing fine, my good friend "Mary" was going to come up here from "AZ" but that doesn't look possible anymore, pouts...but I tend to look at it this way; if we were suppose to meet, then it will just happen and so I shall keep in contact with her as long as she does the same with me.
Maura on the other hand got to see an A Perfect Circle concert with her brother, pouts...I didn't get to go and no one showed up to go to the H.I.M. one with me either, so I haven't been going out much lately.
My mother hasn't been keeping in touch with me but that doesn't mean that she won't around the holidays. It's sad but the only time she calls me is around special occassions. My brother "Ryan" graduates this year with his BA in Business Management; I'm very proud of him for his accomplishments and I wish him the best.
My father's family hasn't even tried to write me; I don't blame them, after all they really don't know me at all and it's not like we live anywhere near one another. |
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| which path shall lead me into temptation and deliver me unto evil... |
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| 12:33am 23/04/2004 |
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shall I walk this beaten path; which may lead me into a trap or shall I go another route....only time will tell.
I'm not strong enough to continue this dream as it has lead me away from what I desire in my life, I can't continue to live in a world of lies and deceit...it's killing me inside and for that I know that there will be terrible consequences to the choice which brought me thus far...but I am only man in this flesh, so all that I do, I do to better myself and my future.
an end to the old and new beginning to come soon to me... |
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| con-fused... |
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| 06:41pm 15/04/2004 |
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Something's wrong....I don't know what it is, but something is going totally wrong and there's really no way for me to find out what's going on either.... This sucks, life sucks, time sucks and I wish that I was still fifteen back in high school again...
Will someone please tell me what's going???
No phone calls, No visits, no time for me, hell not even an email...geez what's going on? |
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| oh when am I ever going to see my Maura again..... |
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| 10:01am 14/04/2004 |
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mood: Valikistic-Pron2assholes music: Korn - Learn to cross the line
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I'm sitting here, thinking about Maura of course... What else do I ever think about? Geez, anyways I decided to start working on some graphic editing... I'm still trying to figure out what I am going to do with my website but I'm starting to get some new ideas...that's a very good thing! ;) So, you want to be my friend...hmmm well then take some time to read and ask yourself if the following statements meet your will...
You want to be my friend because you like; Who I am, What I do, Where I go, Why I am and How I got this far.
You won't change into; a psychotic stalker chick, a complete asshole, a total lier, a want2be poser and last but not least "a christian."
You are open-minded about; life in general, religious concepts and/or beliefs, new things and new places. |
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prince_valik's journal